Sea of Chance
has any of the grown upness actually made you better at weathering the tides or have you just become better at playing it safe?
The danger is that as we become more proficient in what we already have we can close off what may want to come in.
I have always felt my happiness and accuracy rise with business. Idleness makes for dizziness and dizziness leads to anxiety.
I have struggled to let days roll on and find pleasure in time passing and having no where to go. The idea of “room” was for people far less anxious than me. Then this precise conversation fell into my lap - how do new things come in. I think as women we often have powerful agendas, timelines, and relational obligations that make us feel whole. In this conversation I realized that although I may have a lot of things I deeply love (that I have spent years fostering) the tendency to remain in my accomplished comfort zone was creeping into safe living. It is the best feeling when we are capable of conquering and mastering what is ours. Now I spend a majority of my time thinking about what to do with what I already have. I think most of us do once our life begins to solidify.
I.E. when you no longer feel like your life is tectonic plates shifting and causing earthquakes wherever you go. The ingredient that I believe is first discarded for stability is chance. We devise formulas and those formulas make for precise results. We rinse and repeat. I would argue often thinking we are leveling up.
Why would we experiment with new when we are getting better at what we already have? This is what becomes troubling. The need for new goes. It was vommit-worthy when I started to try and think of the minuscule things I could introduce for newness. I was still trying to trick myself into working within my perimeters. If I ventured even close to uncomfortable I just thought I don’t have to do that. Danger.
So I would encourage you as I am encouraging myself to let your brain wander into a land of horrible, stomach inducing uncomfortable thinking and find a new thing that could send you spiraling. For scale - something that could take you a month/year to recover from. The final thought - don’t swim in the pool when you can swim in the ocean. Let the variables come and see how proficient you actually are. It is not mastery if it doesn’t hold up to the elements. Don’t be a master of the tiny.
My rotating women who swim in the ocean of chance are : (who I will be referencing while shaking!)
They are women of the elements!
Yessssss!!!!
🫶👏